Wednesday, December 3, 2008

redneck adventures

I really wanted to post about our Jesse Tree and advent devotions or Christmas traditions; however, this morning's events have provided a bit more entertaining fodder for post readers (no pun intended... you'll understand in a minute)....

I was not raised in the country, but I always wanted to be a "country girl." In fact, I recently found a list of goals I had to make as a senior in high school for a leadership thing. Ranking in the top 5 was "marry a cowboy, move to Texas, and live in a house with a front porch." I romanticized (key word, here!) what it would be like to live on acreage, live off the land, etc.

BUT, like I said, I was NOT raised in the country.... quite the opposite! I was raised in Germantown, TN and went to a high school with a graduating class of 500 students. So, sometimes I can't help but laugh out loud about where I am now...

Last night Scott went deer hunting and shot a doe right before sunset. He didn't find it before it got dark, and he came on home when searching became fruitless. Before bed he asked if this morning we could all go out and search the woods for it... he knew where it had entered the woods, and it was cold enough last night to be ok....

I agreed, so this morning we bundled up and left the house about 7:30. We (all 4 kids and I) loaded up on the 4 wheeler and rode out to the spot. We fanned out and searched the woods for about half an hour. Finally, I discovered our "deerest" close to a thicket at the bottom of a steep wooded hill. Now for the fun part...

I called the girls to me, and we tried several times to lift it and make our way up the hill. FYI, dead deer are a bit bulky, awkward to carry, and slippery when you are wearing gloves! :) No success. I went up the hill, got the 4 wheeler, and made my way carefully down to the deer. We all five managed to load the thing up on the front and get it tied down.

Let me mention that during this time, there was much crying and frustration for not being able to lift it (me included), distress over the blood coming out of the nose and mouth, and Josh in particular decided to wail as if in mourning the whole time I was getting the 4wheeler... he was under the impression that he brought his rope so that he could personally tie it up and drag it out of the woods... It was definitely necessary to admonish everyone to "bow up" at this point.

I then began the ascent up the steep wooded hill with a deer precariously tied to the front grill. (I am laughing at myself even at this moment... maybe it was a ya had to be there moment, I don't know)

This part ended up taking at least 30-40 minutes and included several stops to re-tie the deer and cut down small trees that its poor head kept whacking into...

Finally, we made it to the road and got it to the house. I called Scott at work, and what does he say? "Great job, baby... do you think you can gut it for me???" Silence on my end of the line... "Ok, maybe that's asking a bit much... I'll do it when I get home..."

After we got off the phone, I thought, "OK, I want to be a farmer, I can do this..." I googled "how to gut a deer" to see what I had to do.

I changed my mind... step 1 was "cut a ring around the vagina and the anus...." I noticed other cautions about cutting too deep and puncturing the bladder, etc and chickened out. Instead, I got all the ice out of the freezer, covered the deer, and am waiting for Scott to get home. He is skipping football to come "string her up" for us.

So... homeschooling took on a bit of a different form this morning... I think it could definitely count as science?!

When I wanted to marry a cowboy and live on a bunch of land, etc... I never, ever thought it would involve what transpired this morning, but I love it! :)
Our Duley Deerest...

16 comments:

Liesa said...

I AM DOWN LAUGHING!!!
I WAS JUST GETTING ON HERE TO POST A PIC. OF CALE AND HIS DOE THAT HE GOT SAT. MORNING! LOL.
I EVEN WONDERED IF I SHOULD PUT A PIC. OF A DEAD DEER ON HERE, BUT I GUESS I CAN NOW! HA.
YA'LL ARE HILARIOUS!!! CALE BROUGHT HIS IN ON THE FOUR WHEELER TOO. AIN'T IT FUN BEING REDNECK!!! HA. HAPPY WED. HAPPY EATING!!!!

Emily said...

I'll be waiting to hear how it tastes after all those adventures . . .

Anonymous said...

heather, this is so great! i busted up at your description of josh in mourning over the deer - in his mind it was all going to be so different. i didn't know gutting called for such precision, i'll remember that for future reference....yeah

julie g.

Anonymous said...

Cowboy up! ROFL.

Chuck

Anonymous said...

FUNNY!!! I was raised in the country and have lived most of my adult life in the country as well, but I would NEVER had done the deer thing! Kudos to you and your girls for being such mtn. women!

Elizabeth

Roan said...

I am crying I am laughing so hard! What we women will do for our men! Oh Heather! I am dying here!

thestringerblog said...

That is just too much! You are a great example to me Heather! Wow! I know who to call if I ever have to do it.

Sydney said...

ummm I'm pretty sure that isn't one of the "ya had to be there moments"... that is the most hilarious thing I've seen in a loooong time! I can just see you in the kids out searching for your deer.... it's too much!

Anonymous said...

They make this thing that you can put on your 4-wheeler to pick the deer up and automatically put it on your 4-wheeler. It is easy that a cavewoman can do it. - From Scot George

Anonymous said...

Enjoy it!!


See ya Sunday,
Brooklyn
(cute blog!)

Anonymous said...

"Cuello rojo" = redneck in Spanish.
-Vanna

Hannah said...

Mrs. Heather,
That's a very funny story! ROFL Gutting a deer shouldn't be that bad.

~Hannah~

amongchosenones said...

Life in the country! Ain't nothin' like it!

Thank God you're a country girl!
Heather

Kay said...

from your ma-in-law. Trust me. This will be one of the best memories that you have when you look back on your family life from the ripe "old" age of 57. (This is as far into the ethersphere as I am personally qualified to speak upon) Unexpected? yes. A bit of a pain? Goes without saying. A little bit bizarre? What did you expect, marrying my son? Priceless? Of course.

Anonymous said...

Heather, have you ever considered being cloned? The deceased deer retrieval is quite a feat indeed. And while the attempted doe gutting does nothing for me, I'm sure many men would find it an attractive quality. It would make hunters' lives so much easier to come home after the kill and let the wife go find the deer and drag it home.

:-)
John F.

Kristy Deming-Fahr said...

That was so funny Heather! I wish I'd been watching from behind a tree!! I've been hunting with my husband a few times, but I have never done anything like that... being the only adult. Kudos to you!!